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June 17, 2012
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6th draft-- comments and critique welcome

EDIT #3:

:new: I'm currently working on a second version of the Prologue based on the lovely critique and suggestions that I've been given by fellow deviants. I still will take some critique and comments on this current version, but will be seeking it more most likely with the revised version that I may decide to go with instead of this one. Thanks again to everyone who gave their opinions, suggestions, etc. on this version of the Prologue and an extra special thanks to my girlfriend for doing the first edits and Miss Finkelstein of Hachette Book Group for cleaning this one up to its final potential here.


EDIT #2:

Thanks again to Miss Finkelstein of Hachette Book Group for reviewing this further. We're really just debating on one line currently (taking a word out or leaving it), but comments/critique are still welcome as always! There's always room for improvement.


EDIT #1:

A huge thank-you to the amazing Miss Finkelstein of Hachette Book Group for running some edits on this for me! It was extremely helpful and I definitely enjoy this version much more than the first.

I'm still open for feedback, though! Any and all is accepted... I want this to be the best it can be!

ORIGINAL AUTHOR'S COMMENTS


Finally, the "prologue" to my newest novel project Fiction! (I say "prologue" in quotes mainly because I'm not certain if this is the prologue I want to use or even IF I want to use a prologue, but for now, this is what it is. Personally, it's more like an "intro" than anything, just Daniel's rambling thoughts before awakening in reality in Chapter 1).

For those who are interested, here is Fiction's blurb: Daniel Blackburn is a young writer living in London, England in the mid-1800s. Suffering from Tuberculosis, he finds himself growing weaker and no longer able to write his stories, especially when he slips into an opium-induced coma. What Daniel doesn't realize, however, is that when he wakes up, he's in the world from his dreams. Here, he is reunited with Helena, his lover who once upon a time had lost her life-- the very life Daniel tried to preserve in his writing. As Daniel spends more time in his fantasy world, he begins to discover that he's falling even more in love with Helena, and his sickness is starting to fade away. Things go well at first in this beautiful paradise he had created, until Daniel starts realising that there's something dark about his fictional world, and it will stop at nothing to prevent him from returning home to reality.

:star: Looking for more of Fiction?

:pointr: Click here for Chapter 1
:pointr: Click here for Chapter 2



Fiction © Dorian J. Harper
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:iconblackrose-bud:
~BlackRose-Bud May 4, 2013  New member Hobbyist
This is beautifully poetic <3 It sounds so tragic and dark but at the same time deep and beautiful. I really like your writing. It sounds like it should be in a book =]
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:iconstar-blazer:
=star-blazer May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :love:

I'm actually reworking this opening, but I'll have the revised and second version in my journal hopefully in the next few months for readers to decide which version they like better. I'm glad you liked this one, though, and that it drew you into the story!
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:iconblackrose-bud:
~BlackRose-Bud May 4, 2013  New member Hobbyist
I'd be happy to read the new version and see which I like better for you =] I'm reading more soon of the next chapter too. It's so good.
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:iconstar-blazer:
=star-blazer May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much! I'd really appreciate it :tighthug:
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:iconblackrose-bud:
~BlackRose-Bud May 4, 2013  New member Hobbyist
I'll work on it soon! =]
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:iconstar-blazer:
=star-blazer May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you :aww:
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:iconblackrose-bud:
~BlackRose-Bud May 4, 2013  New member Hobbyist
I posted him!
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:iconstar-blazer:
=star-blazer May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Ah! Thank you! I'll check in a moment :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconkaiserkat:
~KaiserKat May 4, 2013  Student Filmographer
Oh come on. You're 2 comments away from 300. I'm leaving this here because you know why. And because you owe everyone Chapter 3 :P
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:iconstar-blazer:
=star-blazer May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
:XD: Well, thank you for letting me know. Haha.

And I am! I'm working as hard as I can on getting all the edits together for it. I'm expecting it to be up Monday. I promised everyone, so I'm seriously going to work at it.
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